There is a “Valentine’s Day Sucks” thread at my favorite forum-discussion type website, causing me to realize that I’m mildly annoyed by people who scorn the Greeting Industry holiday. Hey, I used to be against the gift of cut flowers. Personally I am tearing it up in the Valentine’s department, arranging Saturday night babysitting and Serious Grownup dinner reservations; I send pale roses and calla lilies to Jennie’s work (she’ll end up bringing them straight home but inspiring feelings of inadequacy in the men at her office and envy in the women is part of the fun). A few hours after I ordered the bouquet I got an email informing me that my order is unavailable in my area and cannot be fulfilled. I am invited to either call someone (please, what is this, the Twentieth Century?) or meander through some kind of online menu hell at the end of which I, uncharacteristically and without any clearly defined intent, request that my order be replaced with… exactly the same product I’d ordered in the first place.
The next day I get a confirmation assuring me that my order will be sent in a timely fashion. Good heavens, is this secret that I’ve been missing out on my whole life? Just ignore whatever is said to you and blithely insist that you dictate to the conditions of reality and not vice versa? Clearly my life has been missing a rapacious if childishly innocent sense of entitlement.
Having scored my points today with the delivery of the unavailable, I peel garlic and ginger, seed a serrano pepper and turn it all into aromatic confetti, pan fry salt and pepper chicken lightly dusted with flour, roast hot madras curry powder in the oily pan, and stew it all together in yogurt curry with diced tomatoes and thin strips of bell pepper. And everything seems all right with the universe, for a while, for a change.
Happy Valentine’s Day, kids. I’m taking the rest of the weekend off.
originally posted at spiritofsalt.com Feb 14, 2009 at 12:17 AM
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